Harry’s guide to college!
So you’ve worked up your way through the dingy high school classrooms and sweat through the three hours non-stop board examinations torture to finally make it to college. After another month of results, manipulations, responses, greetings and arguments you’ve worked hard to get into a college. Running after admission forms, sitting and waiting endlessly for counselling sessions, gulping litres of cola in the hot Indian summer but finally it’s a time to relax. You’ve made it to college and you think the tension phase of your life is over. Well, that’s not true!
You might have made it to college because your dad had connections, you had spare money in the backyard, there weren’t much applicants for the course you applied for, nobody else turned up for counselling or may be on the sole base of merit! Whatever be the reason, it’s a past now. Nobody’s going to care how charming, cute and intelligent you were in your growing years in the high school. There are better things people would ask and want to know from you. So here’s Harry’s ultimate Guide to College for you. Keep it safe, read it in the loo or distribute copies to friends I don’t care. Follow the rules and live in peace.
++ Ragging: Till now you’ve seen it only in the bollywood flicks or heard about it from your dear cousins. It’s time to face the music. Ragging in Indian colleges isn’t the same as it used to be with the Government imposing strict bans and making it a punishable offence. But that doesn’t make your seniors a chicken. So be a sport, go ahead and sing or dance to enjoy a little. If it gets raw, the meat needs to be cooked up! My advice, don’t get rude with the seniors straight away. Some of them would eventually be kind and friendly to you. There would still be some naughty kids around, don’t spare them at all!
++ Boyfriends/Girlfriends: First things first. High school is over. Get over the dream, move up! College will be the time when you’ll be exposed to a wide variety from the opposite sex and the old high school crush can wait or if you’ve been thrown into a non co-ed college, God help you! Remember it’s your first week. First month. Don’t be an early Romeo or a Juliet. Make your image, make your mark and wait. You’re in college now so interaction with the opposite sex will surely ignite someone’s interest in you sometime or the other. In case you’re one of my kind who are not interested in any one at college then admire the library.
++ Classrooms: These are small rooms with some uncomfortable tables and chairs packed with fans rotating at their own merry will and a black board in the front where everyone is supposed to look at for the entire fifty minutes. The best way to concentrate is to imagine the black board as the silver screen. Imagine you’re watching your favourite movie. Or you could imagine your professor dressed up as King Kong and simply beating his chest and shouting for no valid reason. You won’t have to worry much about these are these would be the rooms you’ll hardly visit over the next couple of years.
++ Labs: These are smelly rooms created to impart some practical knowledge into our innocent minds. The only things I learnt in labs was to blow up test tubes and shiny beakers with a cocktail of acids! There’s nothing much you can do in these surroundings, so bunk it off!
++ Canteens/Cafeteria: Your professor might complain of your attendance falling short of the minimum amount but the canteen waiter won’t! Here’s the heaven where you’ll not only feed your hungry tummy but also dare stares at the hunks and the hotties! A prefect place gup-shup over a spicy smosa and cola. And if cupid has already struck then this might be the very shrine where you’ll get to worship you mate!
++ Entry/Exit points: Mark my words, this would be the most important thing to learn in college. You must be aware of all the entry and exit points at college. Why? You’ll answer this to yourself pretty soon!
Finally, just chill! Enjoy yourself but don’t go too easy. Make sure you do keep up with the studies while still enjoying college.