The Melting Pot

I want to be…

Ever since we’re kids, we have a blurred and hazy picture of what we want to be, or do, when we grow up. And I’m not talking just about college, careers, etc. I’m talking about ‘we’ as people. I always thought that with my upbringing I’d be this prim and proper girl who always has to please her parents and can do no wrong. The good kid who gets good marks and stays away from the wild crowd. A doctor maybe…to ‘help people who are suffering’. Good grades, good college, good friends..selfless and sacrificing life, with my ‘perfect love’ besides me who is moulded for me and we all will just live happily ever after..

Well that turned out to be utter bullshit. Yes, perceptions do change as you grow up…your morals change, values change, outlook changes..but to such an extent? Things which you were so staunchly against, things which were against your principles, things which you resolved never to do in your lifetime, become so mundane and ordinary. I thought people who take drugs are ‘bad people’ and now some of my best friends smoke up all the time. I thought coming first in class was the be all and end all of my existence…and now…well, I would not like to comment on my scores.. Lol. I’m not questioning myself. Neither am I wondering what went wrong with me…I don’t think anything did. I guess this is just part of growing up. I was just looking into some old slam books today, and I saw what I used to be like..even 1 year ago! College sure does change people.

I wanted to be and do so many things as a kid. I wanted the world at my feet. I was to be pious, religious and a good kid. I just kept wanting, dreaming, hoping….but things have turned out so differently. At the end of the day, all I can say is, I’m so happy I am what I am right now, it’s hard to imagine. Atleast I am me and not what everyone wanted me to be, or a stupid idealistic picture I painted of myself in my head.. I love the paths I have chosen, the paths I have been forced to choose (due to lack of choice ), and the way ahead. It’s ok if you’re not what you always wanted to be, as a person, or as in a profession, or anything. At the end of the day…whatever makes you happy.

Oh, and by the way, Rahul change my blog please. It’s not the old one, it’s now www.ataxia.wordpress.com

Thanks.

What is Life ?? .. Some say its (A) while the others say its (B)

hey ppl .. these are a few li’l views about what life actually is, so please bear with me might be bad at this ..

well here it goes .. life is a series of many expected as well as unexpected tasks which we have to face, revert back to etc. it helps u to get experiences which furthermore helps to lead this journey in a way to fulfill many responsibilities in different ways. in short life is very unpredictable. u juss dont come to know what good or bad wud happen to you next and what in the past would help u in the future. its very confusing for some too. its an amalgamation of deep happiness and deep sadness. life which is under the control of god as well as that being in two different aspects: creation and implementing. ther are many a things abt this journey which are controlled by god, but most of them are implemented by us for our betterment which needs to be understood with intellect. life is a treasure if u really explore the most ov it thru ur potential. sum take it as a very beautiful gift while some take it as a very normal attribute. but at the end what really matters is the level of the positive u need to explore out of it to enjoy it really. and for those who really don’t know its value, juss remember: its only we who r lucky enuf that we’re in this world. so just try to make use of this one life. furthermore, life is a blend of various relations having various bases and these have to be fulfilled as a resposibility with the unconditional. its too complicated to be understood. cheers

life is beautiful !

hmm….life is so beautiful. sometimes u get back so much frm her, and sometimes she takes everythng away. its a happy and a sad combination. but while m living in this happy moment, let me cherish and admire it. the feeling of being content and still wanting more frm life, sounds really absurd, but sometimes it happens. i’m feeling the ordinary but something magical seems to have seeped into everything that was ordinary. so, all you people out there who feel a little low today, remind yourselves of that one happy moment and smile…….

!!???!!??##

good things have to end. god times have to go, all the good.has to go! we at the end left wid pain in our heart, tears in our eyes & a life with no good to live it! y do v still live?

tears are the best frnd of a person. wen u have NO1 wid u……….ABSOLUTLY NO1, UR NOT ALONE, u have ur tears. pppl say crying does no good, i say crying does all the good.it washes the grief in our heart, it makes u feel light……..

at the end it is these who r wid u wen no1 is wid u.

i may not be making ny sense of wat i am writnig,maybe repeating wat i am writing……but i just wantd to, coz there is no other way out!

(sorry adminstrator!)

Is love for real?

Is it really a sacred word with a much deeper meaning of trust, feeling, emotion and passion? Or is it just a farce? Some people use it just for the heck of it, coz their girlfriends/boyfriends said it and it’s “polite” to reciprocate.. But I’m not talking about those people in this post at all so clear your mind of that notion please.. I’m talking about people who say it and think they mean it, but don’t really know for sure.. Do we really know what love is? Oh, there have been countless songs written about how it feels to be in love, but have you ever felt all that? Isn’t love nothing but a crush? A powerfull obsession/infatuation? Hah! Love at first sight! Without knowing a guy’s name, behavior, character, personality etc, how can someone fall in love? It takes months to fall in love, and maybe even years.. And even then we’re never sure. How many relationships end with ‘I thought I was in love with him but I was too young. I don’t know what love is.’ But does anyone trully know?
I’m looking for suggesions, I feel I’m in love with Vishesh, but quite honestly, even if I wasn’t, I wouldn’t really know. Coz I don’t know if what I’m feeling can be called love. What do you think love is? Do you even believe in it? People say, if you like every li’l thing about a person, it’s love. But no1s perfect. I think it’s impossible to like everything about one person. There have to be somethings you don’t like.. Otherwise it’s said, if you can see yourself growing old with that person, you’re in love. But marriages end too. So, does love come and then go away? Or is it just an illusion? I’m confused… What is love?

What to do?

There is a teacher in my mother’s school—somewhere around 28 years in age, a science Post-graduate, very soft-spoken, responsible, pretty, tall and almost with all things desirable for being a good person, daughter, wife, daughter-in-law et al. But still hell shadows her. The story or rather the reality of her life is that the 1st night of her marriage, she was told by her husband that he loves someone else and he only married her for the sake of his parents. He’d have no relationship with her—physical or emotional. This situation didn’t change for 6 months. It was then, when amidst the neglect of her husband, tantrums of in-laws, almost imprisonment in a separate city—unknown to her, she decided to come to her father’s home here in Chd. . it has been more than 1 and a half year of her staying like this and she has now got a court-summon from her so-called husband asking for a divorce. She has decided to fight the case but to fight these kinda cases is not easy, with those ever-being-postponed court dates, humiliation of the girl and the end result of her devastation. This might sound like another story of a soap opera but no! it isn’t.

Her life is disturbed, she almost seems to be a blot on her parents (w/o her fault) and worst of all-has a bloody long life to go. What if she loses the case, no one really marries a divorcee of middle-class status. What if she wins the case, still the situation is not gonna change. There is no point in going and living with her husband again if she wins b’coz he is not gonna change.

What should she do?

Is what is being done right ???

There is this friend of mine, in my class, very nicely known to me. She is from a very well-off rather elite family with almost all riches, her dad being a city-famous lawyer and what not!? Now the timing b/w her parents is not really the way it should be but they are just living under one roof because of their social status. There is gender discrimination also as my friend is discriminated from her very own brother. Except from the luxuries and the comforts, her parents provide her with little love or affection. All the frustration and tension in the house obviously leads to bad results. She is kinda dumb, which makes her the laughing stock of the class. Moreover whichever guy she tries to approach, that guy turns out to be a big-time bastard, according to her.! She isn’t good in studies, if has any talent—then never has she showcased it, and the present situation is that her life is in a complete mess and a disaster. Because of all these not-very-good things, she is not interested or determined to do anything in life. No career or anything.

Her parents want her to do law and carry the family tradition going. Now, 1st of all, she is not at all convincing to pursue law and more so, law holds no interest for her. Her apparent riches and Carmel-education has made her rebellious and it’s time she had a reality check. Now last night, she might have had a small talk with her parents about career which resulted in a massive beating of hers. Her mum beat her tight leaving visibly painful bruises, sprains and wounds. Almost all day her eyes were moist. The problem—she wants to go abroad but her parents have enrolled her into law tuition already—starting very soon.

She cannot talk to her parents about anything—her dad being the typical strict-stern fathers, her mother being busy in her diamonds and kitty-parties. Because of all this she has become the way she is—stubborn, dumb, kinda haughty and does not really contains good personality traits. This definitely shows at home also and according to me, her parents must be worried about her casual approach towards life. This is a chain reaction. The word is ADJUSTMENT and it is nowhere to be seen. I’ve told her to visit a councilor but she says that she can’t do so.

The problem is not of the physical wounds that this family gives to each other, but the spoiling of an institution which is so beautiful. They are spoiling her life.

Just a week before she told me,” Divi, I bought Tommy Hilfiger shoes worth Rs. 5000. Damn they look luxurious, rich!” I just thought to myself—- is this the real wealth, or she is just diverting herself from the real life.

Love don’t cost a thing??

…You think I’m gonna spend your cash
I won’t
Even if you were broke
My love don’t cost a thing
Think I wanna drive your benz
I don’t…

Those were the lines from JLo’s song. All she’s trying to say is that she’s in love with the guy and not his wallet.
But how true is it? Do girls or guys simply go out with each other ’cause they love each other?? I don’t think so.

I won’t name people here but I know plenty of people who go out just because their partner has a heavy wallet/purse. All they wanna do is go places with them, party, spend money, buy fancy gifts… That’s their sole motive of going out with a rich person. They don’t like him/her. They like the gifts that they buy for them.

Khanna told me about his friend who proposed to a girl by taking her out to Taj & then giving her an expensive piece of jewellery. The girl said yes. OK… he did not ask her to marry him. The guy is just 18. He simply asked her out and after giving her the gift he was now the proud owner…oops… I mean boyfriend of that girl.

So is it actually wise throwing away your dad’s or even your own hard-earned money on fake people who just look good??

Looks can be deceptive, trust me. I once saw a girl who looked stunning. But then, I turned around once again and I saw her digging her nose!!! So there you are, don’t judge a person by how he/she looks. Look inside!!

And spending cash can buy you a so-called “loyal” girlfriend/boyfriend who just stick to you for the luxuries. Such people can never be true soul-mates.

Power’s unkind shower!

There is indeed a huge shortage of power nowadays. And it surely is affecting the common people.
Right now I am in Delhi and yesterday as we were going home, Dad, looking at the overtly lit area( somewhere in front of Fiends Colony), said,” I dunno why they light so many street lights!? There is barely a difference of I meter b/w 2 street light-poles and with all the cars having lights and the area also being so heavily crowded by them, I think they should withdraw electricity from these poles.” I said, “ They should light every alternative pole, that would save at least half of the presently-consumed elec..”

We reached home and today morning the headline of TOI was, “it’s lights out at 7.30 PM”. The article announced various restrictions imposed by the Delhi-Govt. on the usage or rather saving of electricity.
Ø Markets, malls to be closed by 7.30 P.M.
Ø A.C. in govt. offices to be switched off by 6.30 P.M.
Ø Residents to operate A.C.s only after 9 P.M.
These were the snippets. Already there are so many power-cuts in Delhi that even the inverters give up after a while. The Govt, expects off the civilians to be careful about electricity but the waste which they are doing is not being watched over. on the way to Delhi, something like 10-12 kms before the ring road, numeral banquet-halls and resorts have opened—actually in abundance. And I was surprised to see that in almost all of ‘em, you cannot find the silhouette (ouch!) or the outline, to be blunt, of the building. It is lighted in such a manner that it literally hurts the eyes! I dunno that by how many centimeters my cornea would have contracted! But the Govt. has all its eyes closed for them. Damn! Go and tell them to save elec.. the Govt. makes the common man pay for the shortage of elec. by tolerating those power-cuts and for the ones who are actually wasting power, it is doing nothing. It is so hot outside that you can’t just go out in the day and inside the house, it is slowly getting almost similar. But thanx to my inverter, seriously, YOU ROCK!!!

But the biggest problem 4 me is that as I am not much of a frequent shopper, I just shop in summer coz of my janam-din. But this time all the malls are gonna be closed by 7.30 P.M. and we actually go out to shop at 7 P.M. Damn! What am I gonna do this time!!!