I want to be… [ June 15th, 2007 ] Posted in » Feelings / Emotions

Ever since we’re kids, we have a blurred and hazy picture of what we want to be, or do, when we grow up. And I’m not talking just about college, careers, etc. I’m talking about ‘we’ as people. I always thought that with my upbringing I’d be this prim and proper girl who always has to please her parents and can do no wrong. The good kid who gets good marks and stays away from the wild crowd. A doctor maybe…to ‘help people who are suffering’. Good grades, good college, good friends..selfless and sacrificing life, with my ‘perfect love’ besides me who is moulded for me and we all will just live happily ever after..

Well that turned out to be utter bullshit. Yes, perceptions do change as you grow up…your morals change, values change, outlook changes..but to such an extent? Things which you were so staunchly against, things which were against your principles, things which you resolved never to do in your lifetime, become so mundane and ordinary. I thought people who take drugs are ‘bad people’ and now some of my best friends smoke up all the time. I thought coming first in class was the be all and end all of my existence…and now…well, I would not like to comment on my scores.. Lol. I’m not questioning myself. Neither am I wondering what went wrong with me…I don’t think anything did. I guess this is just part of growing up. I was just looking into some old slam books today, and I saw what I used to be like..even 1 year ago! College sure does change people.

I wanted to be and do so many things as a kid. I wanted the world at my feet. I was to be pious, religious and a good kid. I just kept wanting, dreaming, hoping….but things have turned out so differently. At the end of the day, all I can say is, I’m so happy I am what I am right now, it’s hard to imagine. Atleast I am me and not what everyone wanted me to be, or a stupid idealistic picture I painted of myself in my head.. I love the paths I have chosen, the paths I have been forced to choose (due to lack of choice :D ), and the way ahead. It’s ok if you’re not what you always wanted to be, as a person, or as in a profession, or anything. At the end of the day…whatever makes you happy.

Oh, and by the way, Rahul change my blog please. It’s not the old one, it’s now www.ataxia.wordpress.com

Thanks. :)

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What is Life ?? .. Some say its (A) while the others say its (B)

hey ppl .. these are a few li’l views about what life actually is, so please bear with me ;) might be bad at this ..

well here it goes .. life is a series of many expected as well as unexpected tasks which we have to face, revert back to etc. it helps u to get experiences which furthermore helps to lead this journey in a way to fulfill many responsibilities in different ways. in short life is very unpredictable. u juss dont come to know what good or bad wud happen to you next and what in the past would help u in the future. its very confusing for some too. its an amalgamation of deep happiness and deep sadness. life which is under the control of god as well as that being in two different aspects: creation and implementing. ther are many a things abt this journey which are controlled by god, but most of them are implemented by us for our betterment which needs to be understood with intellect. life is a treasure if u really explore the most ov it thru ur potential. sum take it as a very beautiful gift while some take it as a very normal attribute. but at the end what really matters is the level of the positive u need to explore out of it to enjoy it really. and for those who really don’t know its value, juss remember: its only we who r lucky enuf that we’re in this world. so just try to make use of this one life. furthermore, life is a blend of various relations having various bases and these have to be fulfilled as a resposibility with the unconditional. its too complicated to be understood. cheers ;)

June 11th, 2007 | 2 Comments

life is beautiful !

hmm….life is so beautiful. sometimes u get back so much frm her, and sometimes she takes everythng away. its a happy and a sad combination. but while m living in this happy moment, let me cherish and admire it. the feeling of being content and still wanting more frm life, sounds really absurd, but sometimes it happens. i’m feeling the ordinary but something magical seems to have seeped into everything that was ordinary. so, all you people out there who feel a little low today, remind yourselves of that one happy moment and smile…….

 

June 11th, 2007 | 1 Comment

Gandhi and his ‘Spiritual Wife’

Well I read this piece of article in The Tribune, dated Saturday, June 2, 2007 (Saturday Extra supplement).

The article goes something like this :

…There was a woman in Mahatma Gandhi’s life with whom he had contemplated ‘spiritual’ marriage. Rajmohan Gandhi’s recent book on the Mahatma more than hinted at this alliance. V.N. Datta, a historian who has been researching this relationship, talks to The Tribune and attempts to reconstruct the strong bond between Gandhi and Saraladevi, a niece of Rabindranath Tagore

Who was Saraladevi Chowdharani and how did she impact the life of one of India’s greatest sons, Mahatma Gandhi? She stares poignantly out of the early 20th century black and white pictures, clad in rich silk sarees and her black hair flowing loose…

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June 10th, 2007 | 1 Comment

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